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Timothy W Macinta's Unauthorized Autobiography

The Early Years

I was born a long time ago when I was very young. I'm here because my parents had sex. I think they had sex at least three times because I also have two younger brothers. I don't remember a whole lot from the period in which I was born, for as I mentioned before I was very young, but I do remember that I did not manage to take over the world.

I spent most of my life growing up in the southern parts of the US in places that nobody has ever heard of such as Maryland and West Virginia. I was considered a hideous mutant in those parts since I had no desire to own a pick-up truck with a gun rack in the back and a 500 watt sub-woofer in the front for the sole purpose of blasting Achey Breaky Heart as I drove in circles around the supermarket parking lot. (Actually, I did have a desire to own a 500 watt sub-woofer, but it was most certainly not for the purpose of listening to Achey Breaky Heart.) Because of my preposterous apathy towards pick-up trucks I was exiled to a horrible place called MIT.

The MIT Era

I came to MIT in the fall of 1993 because of the aforementioned exile and because I needed a good place to learn how to build an army of evil robots. My goal going into MIT was to get a degree in Computer Architecture so that I could build my own micro-chips (for my robots, of course). Well, a degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science was the closest thing that they had so I took that route instead. It took me quite a while to figure out that Electrical Engineering is no fun, and by the time I did figure it out I practically had the degree already so I toughed it out rather than just going for a plain Computer Science degree since a degree in "Electrical Engineering and Computer Science" makes it sound like I have a double major.

Unfortunately, giving up on EE meant giving up on the idea of having an army of evil robots to do my bidding. To pick up the slack I also minored in Economics so that I could write a suite of evil programs which would siphon a massive amount of consumers' money away from them. I would do this by releasing software full of bugs so that consumers would have to pay to upgrade to future versions. To my dismay I later found out that Microsoft had already beaten me to this strategy.

Needless to say, these setbacks kept me from taking over the world during my stay at MIT.

Post-MIT Recovery

I graduated from MIT in June of 1997 with my ironically titled BS degree. Since then I have spent most of my time doing research on what would be the best way to take over the world. Thus far most of my research has consisted of studying the works of Brain (of Pinky and the Brain fame). I have also been studying the works of Homer (of The Simpsons fame) but his work seems less applicable to my goal, at least at the present time.

The Future

I'll probably die sometime, although I'm looking into ways to prevent that.